Prom season is supposed to be a magical time for teenagers, a celebration of their hard work and transition into adulthood. But for Black girls, it often comes with a relentless barrage of criticism and judgment. From whispers about finances to critiques of their style, the policing of Black prom culture has gone too far, and it’s time for adults to step back and offer support instead of shame.
The Harsh Reality of Prom Critiques
Scroll through any social media feed during prom season, and you’ll likely encounter comments like, “How did they afford all of that?” or “Her dress is tacky!” These aren’t just mild observations; they are often harsh judgments directed at teenage girls. This negativity, sadly, is a recurring theme, overshadowing the joy and accomplishment these events represent.
It’s crucial to remember that Black girls come from diverse backgrounds. Some may live in public housing, while others come from affluent families. Some are heading to college on scholarships, while others plan to pursue vocational training or enter the workforce. Every path is valid and deserves celebration, not judgment based on assumptions.
Why the Constant Scrutiny?
Brianna Baker, founder of Justice for Black Girls, sheds light on this troubling trend. She explains that it’s deeply connected to the “adultification” of Black girls, a phenomenon where they are perceived as older, less innocent, and less deserving of protection than their peers. This bias means even joyful moments like prom become targets for public critique rather than celebration.
Baker also points to a societal discomfort with Black expression that deviates from traditional “respectability politics.” When Black girls showcase creativity, boldness, or innovation in their prom styles, it’s often labeled as “too much” or “ghetto” instead of being recognized as cultural expression and imagination. This overlooks the rich history of Black prom culture as a space for celebrating beauty, survival, and self-expression.
Normalizing Surveillance and Lack of Grace
The normalization of public surveillance and policing of Black girls is a serious issue. Adults often project their own expectations and judgments onto them, amplified by social media, which turns personal experiences into public commentary. Instead of approaching these moments with curiosity and care, many immediately resort to criticism.
Baker emphasizes the need to extend grace, curiosity, and humanity to Black girls. We should be asking, “What does this moment mean to them?” rather than immediately judging. The goal should be to foster a Black girlhood experience that doesn’t require grieving and to trust Black girls to define and experience their own joy.
Celebrating Black Extravagance
Black prom culture has historically been a site of joy and communal celebration, especially in the face of exclusion. It’s a testament to Black families’ love and commitment to their children’s milestones. When Black communities celebrate their children loudly and unapologetically, this “extravagance” should be praised, not framed as irresponsible or excessive.
This extravagance isn’t just about monetary spending; it’s about innovation and creativity. From crochet gowns to sequined blazers and intricate hair art, young Black individuals are showcasing incredible imagination. These expressions deserve admiration, not criticism.
A Message of Love and Support
To every Black girl who experienced the beauty of prom: you deserve it all. And to those who didn’t get the prom of their dreams, know that your moment is coming. It’s time we, as a community, shift from policing to protecting, from shaming to celebrating the vibrant spirit of Black girls.
What are your thoughts on the policing of Black prom culture? Share your experiences and support for Black girls in the comments below!